sunday funday : uno

06/19/2011

my job this summer is being a student. i am here to learn. i am already certain i’m much more suited to immersion versus working full time and going to school part-time. my brain is positively humming. i’m processing ideas, thoughts and emotions (both personal and academic) beyond my expectations…and believe me, i expected.

i get really exciting writing ideas, mostly non-fiction, reflective and story telling. i’m making connections and being struck with insights i had no idea were just under the surface. i feel very alive. which also means i feel a lot. i laugh every day and i cry every day.  it’s good i’m here in community. i can wander in my brain for hours then go to a meal and sit at a table with ten new friends and laugh and share. then i can retreat inward to wander and discover again.

given my only task this summer is studying and i have six days a week to do this, i’m devoting sundays to re-creating. i’m going to do my best to work really hard during the week so i don’t need to study, write or read for class on sundays. i can already tell it will be easy to get sucked into the type-a fray… remember the two smartest (dorkiest) kids in your english class? well i’m here with 80 of them, myself included.  easy to become sucked into the whirlpool of stress, competition and the desire for perfectionary performance. i want to avoid that kill-joy and make time to “be” instead of “do”.  i believe God knows this is best for me and for all of us. i believe laying it all down for a full day will help free me.

here’s what i did today:

630 – wake up, read, pray, piddle around room, listen to music

730 – get dressed, eat bfast in my room, facebook stalk all you friends and family to see what’s going on back home

830 – leave on bike for coffee shop to read

10- wander around bookstore next to coffee shop

1015- leave bookstore for church

1030-1045- miss lots of turns getting to church.

1045- arrive at church late

12- leave church. eat brunch at dining hall.

1- go to our (amazing!) library to check out my sunday funday reading. i chose: mary oliver poems, flannery o’connor short stories and harper lee’s to kill a mockingbird

2- set up hammock in courtyard outside my room. read. nap. read. nap. call home.

4- hike with friends.

530- dinner with friends.  then room time, play mandolin, write this note.

8-10 sunset and wine with friends on the courtyard steps.

normally on sundays i’m not going to write all the preceding, but i just plan to share favorites from my sunday funday readings and music.  so, here are my favorites of today:

1) the avett brothers : head full of doubt / road full of promise

yesterday at lunch a (positively brilliant, eccentric and genius)  professor shared, “i have a dark side. a really dark side. i only have time once a year to let it be. that time is now. i cry and don’t always get out of bed. but i let the darkness come and in a week or so i’ll be back.” his words made me think of this song. i’ve always loved it.

“There’s a darkness upon me that’s flooded in light…

There was a dream
One day I could see it
Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it
And there was a kid, with a head full of doubt
So I scream til I die or the last of those bad thoughts are finally out”

2) from “Return” by Mary Oliver

(these are parts 3 and 4 in a series of seven stanzas of one poem.)

3.

Two eggs rolled from the goose nest
down to the water and halfway into the water.
What good is hoping?
I went there softly, and gathered them
and put them back into the nest

of the goose who bit me hard with her
lovely black beak with the pink
tongue-tip quivering,

and beat my arms with her
lovely long wings
and beat my face with her
lovely long wings,
what good is trying?
She hissed horribly, wanting me to be frightened.
I wasn’t frightened.
I just knew it was over,
those cold white eggs would never hatch,

the birds would forget, soon, and go back
to the light-soaked pond,
          what good is remembering?

But I wasn’t frightened.

4.

Sometimes I really believe it, that I am going to
save my life

a little.

3) from To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee

“Nobody knew what form of intimidation Mr. Radley employed to keep Boo out of sight, but Jem figured that Mr. Radley kept him chained to the bed most of the time. Atticus said no, it wasn’t that sort of thing, that there were other ways of making people into ghosts.”

4) Laura Gibson, “Funeral Song’

listen (and download for free) here: Daytrotter: Laura Gibson

Well if I could stretch my years
Into a grand procession
And circle round your wisdom
Like a song
I would not wish to be
The fire in your belly
I would not wish for
Holding you too long

With no sorrow
Ask no greater pardon
Than the pattern
Time is carving in your skin

hope you all had a life-giving sunday as well.

Advertisements

2 Responses to “sunday funday : uno”

  1. Paige said

    Adam said he’s not going to let me read your blog anymore because I’m getting so jealous! (PS I have Mary Oliver’s book of poetry called Thirst. LOVE IT!)

    • jessica said

      i love that book of hers too! you tell adam if he takes my blog away from you, he’s not allowed to eat any pork products. problem solved.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: